pictures

Pictures from the past couple of days:

27 weeks and 5 days. Appt today went well. I measure 28 and baby's hb was 155ish.

goofy kid

so beautiful

my little sweety


She takes that baby everwhere with her now that she has a 'car seat' for it-lol

updated belly shots and other things

These are from week 25


Covered bump


Uncovered bump

This one is from week 26

bump and a new hair cut!

Other happening at Soesbe house: with the help of James' brother in law Josh we were able to get one of the kids' rooms refloored on Wednesday and then the kids' furniture switched around. So Baylie is now in her new room and Daisy is in hers. I am hoping to get Daisy's room done next weekend. I figure paint on Saturday floor on Sunday and poof room done! Baylie's room needs a shelf moved and some touch up paint and a beautiful mural put up then her's will be complete! I hope to have the shelf and touch up paint done this Sunday, but the mural will have to wait until we have to $$ to buy it.
We are headed to Denver overnight on the 9th of March. So Baylie will be spending her 4th birthday in the car and then in Denver. We are going for a sleep study for her. Trying to unravel the mysteries that are Baylie and help her to get some GOOD sleep at night for the WHOLE night. Preferably BEFORE the new baby comes. I am waiting for paper work to take her back to be re-evaluated by the developmental team in Denver. Her school and I agree that this is necessary at this time. I am also hoping one of them will give me a referal to a neurophyscologist so we can see if Baylie has done damage to the front of her brain (we are pretty sure she has) from all the banging she does at night. Ah, one thing at a time for her though. It all equals a lot of trips to Denver this summer though- but thats ok. There is no price tag too big when it comes to knowing whats wrong with you child and how to fix it so that they can live a normal happy life!

The bump and I are doing well as are James and Daisy. We are hoping in March to get gender conformation. But who ever is in there is a fighter and is feisty!

Ok, belly pictures from week 24 and 4 days to be exact!


hard to see much in this one :o(


this one is a little better, it deff. starting to show! lol

Sometimes I Cry

Sometimes I cry for the little girl I dreamed of. The one all first time moms hope to get. The normal baby that grows into the beautiful little girl, that transforms into the confident woman. I cry for that little girl because I know she is somewhere trapped inside the child that sits before me, waiting to come through. But, as I sit there crying, mourning the loss of that dream child, I feel a little hand rub my back and a small voice ask “mommy are you ok?” And through tear washed eyes I see the child that sits beside me who is so much more than I ever could have dreamed.

Sometimes I cry for the normal life I always thought she’d have. The life we as parents hope are children will someday have. I cry for the friends, that she could have had if only she was ‘normal.’ I feel sorry for the sweet little girl in her that just wants to be loved and accepted by her peers. How her life will go I cannot say, but I do all I can everyday to try to give her that life.

Sometimes I cry for trials she will have to face in this life. I cry for the testing that they do to her. I hope one day she will understand why we do it. I hope that she learns tolerance, for often times people present the hardest trials of all. I cry because I know that she will fail more than she succeeds, at least for the time at hand. But then as I cry I see through my tear washed eyes that she has over come so many trials and doesn’t even know it yet, and how wonderful that is for her.

Sometimes I cry for her and how things must seem to her. How difficult her life must feel to have so much inside and no way to say it. To want to learn it, but not understand how it’s being taught. I cry because I want to help her but I don’t know what else to try. But then as I cry I see through my tear washed eyes that she is happy with her world and the people in it, and that she will continue to try even if she fails.

And sometimes I cry for me. Being the mom of a special needs child is hard, and not what I signed up for when I decided to be a parent. Every day is a struggle to try to understand her, every night an eternal search for sleep for her. So I cry with my head hung down in shame for me and my loss and all the losses she will face in her young life. And every day I will continue the search to figure out what is wrong so that it may be fixed or overcome. And I cry for the bills that keep stacking up while the quest for the truth continues. But though my tear washed eyes I see my husband standing with me and I hear him say it will be alright. I hear him tell me that no expense is too much when it comes to a day where I might not have to cry for her anymore, and I know he is right.

But until then, sometimes I cry.

The break down

It was brought to my attention that not everyone is ultrasound savy. Like, my grandparents who had no idea what they were looking at other than an ultrasound. So, for all you non-sonogram-reading people out there I have broken down the last set for you!

Its A......

So we just got back from the doctors. We had our anatomy scan tonight. Everything looked good, baby measures right on and is much taller than I thought. My ob stated the obvious as baby is head down, and I mean really LOW down he said "wow there's not much more room down there!" I told him he was preaching to the choir.

But, ok ok. First know that at a little over 18 weeks he did a fast u/s for me and told my mom that it looked mostly like a girl, BUT he couldnt say for sure because baby was so small and thin. So today he looked and ITS A........................................................

BABY! lol. Yup thats right not a puppy or a kitty, its a baby. I will continue to call baby SHE until I know otherwise. Sorry to disappoint. But he did tell me that in 6 weeks we would try again, it would be my reward for drinking the glucola.

So we got some really excellent shots of baby praying and talking to us and her chubby cheeks and arms. My ob said everything look great. I will post pictures for you all to see.

left: thigh measurement; right: baby's toes

Left: baby's hands folded in prayer; Right: baby's face with hand folded just under her chin. She was doing this the whole time mouth moving like she was saying her prayer outloud, it was so cute!

Baby Registry and more...

Hi everyone! I hope ya'll have had an awesome start to the new year! I know this is a little premature but I've had some people ask me so....
Baby Soesbe #3 is registered at Wal-Mart. com and BabiesRUs.com. There are some things that are duplicates from one site to the next, my appologies for that! We have a crib, the bedding set, and a diaper bag. We will be getting the basinet and car seat when our taxes come back, I just put those on the list as a reminder to me lol. Preggy brain is not much fun! We will be having two baby showers, dates TBA. But I know that one will be in June after baby and the other will probably be in April before baby comes. For ease, I will post the links to the registries themselves at the end of the post.
I feel her (baby) moving around alot these days. She's really super active. She makes my stomach jump and dance. She still laying VERY low, mostly between my hips still, though I would imagine that she won't be able to fit down there much longer without breaking my hip!
We hope everyone is doing well, and I will post pictures from the upcoming ultrasound as soon as it happens on the 20th at 5!
The resistry links:
http://www.walmart.com/giftregistry/gr_detail.do?registryId=86172619036
http://www.toysrus.com/registry/search/index.jsp;jsessionid=Zyt5LTxGXsBTxh92J1wP6k1pvd160wdyjzKyvJVCWBFchHH2TWk4!1045386950?_flowExecutionKey=_c963AF23E-3AAE-2C50-CB19-EF06BE310D2F_kCA543303-58AD-D208-DD34-0028F31DDE5D